Happy Birthday To Me

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME (on turning 60 in 1984)

I'm now 85, in 2009

The hair is getting grayer, the heels I wear are lower,
The lens are somewhat stronger, the knees are moving slower.
The joints are getting stiffer, hearing's growing weaker,
My temperament has mellowed to the point of being meeker.

This coming birthday is the one I most sincerely dreaded;
I'll not be getting better: it's all downhill I'm headed.
My fortitude or stamina cannot hold on much longer.
I know my tennis grip will never ever get much stronger.

But think of all the good points as I keep on growing older:
there are fewer problems now, for me to have to shoulder.
Afraid of getting wrinkles? They're already there!
A mini-skirt or ankle length? I don't even care!

Seems to me the time has come to sit back and relax.
I've earned a rest! Don't work so hard! Those are happy facts.
Then why do I run faster every day to get things done?
'Cause getting older just gives me more time for having FUN!

UPDATE -- June 2009

Now that I am eighty-five, my hair is even grayer.

Every day, as I arise, I say a "Thank You" prayer.

When I worried, 'way back then, about my downhill slide

I didn't know the ups and downs would be a joyful ride!

I've seen some wondrous changes in this awesome world of ours:

The moon-rides and the health care. The loss of our Twin Towers.

Now I DO sit back and rest, and I don't run at all.

Although I'm dancing slower, I've really had a ball !

I'm Just Not Myself Anymore!!

As I'm growing older, remembering my life,
I've had a very peaceful one, and not much painful strife.
But now, it seems, I've had these dreams
Where nothing seems quite right...
I know I'm me, but I can't see the cause of all this fright.

I look into a mirror, and I know I'm seeing me,
But why are my reflective parts not where they ought to be?
I've always been quite normal, I'm NOT a beauty queen,
But now my nose is out of joint.........and my face turned green.

While I pondered over this, I saw that my jaw dropped,
Which really was quite difficult, because my eyes had popped!
Getting my mind back on track nearly blew my mind.
Because my head was in a whirl, I have loose lips, I find.

My nose is to the grindstone, my hair now stands on end.
My eyes just popped out of my head which caused my mind to bend.
I now see that my eyes have moved onto the BACK of my head
And so this hair-brained episode has filled my heart with dread.

Now my shoulder's to the wheel, and then my heart stands still.
Next it jumped into my throat...."heart-breaking", if you will.
Now I'm really broken-hearted, knowing it has dropped
I really lost my heart, you see, for it completely stopped.

All this rubber-necking really made me out of whack
And caused me some discomfort, patting myself on the back!
I had an upset stomach, and jumped out of my skin,
Causing me to pull a muscle, weakening my strong chin.

All this caused my spine to tingle......made me walk knock-kneed,
Flat-footed, foot-loose, pigeon-toed......it was weird, indeed
In trying to correct this mess, I worked hand over fist.
All the problems facing me made quite a quirky list.

I used my sticky fingers to attempt to reconstruct
Myself back to some normalcy.......a notion I soon chucked.
It took some firm arm-twisting to rebuild my self-esteem,
But this hair-raising and mind-bending chore was in my dream.

I awoke and realized the looking-glass was shattered.
I was really simply me, and that's what really mattered!
Even though I'd love to be a more attractive me
This is how God made me---just as I should be !

To Joe

Wish that I could buy for you a nice new lounging chair...
There's got to be a newer, nicer, softer one somewhere !
I really wanted us to take a cruise across the seas,
But that was quashed when thinking of our bad backs and weak knees.

I am sure that you would like another puppy dog,
But we can't handle what we have --- our minds are in a fog.
So, for your birthday, how about a nice big hug or two,
And promises for gifts galore sometime from me to you ?

Here's a fifty-dollar bill to buy your heart's desire...
Just think of all the "stuff" this dough would help you to acquire !
But let's get smarter, now that you are turning eighty-seven:
Let's DOWN-SIZE....you know, we can't take it to Heaven.

The Brick

To a young man who graduated from college in 1976. We gave him an old, used brick (with a nice check), and this "inspirational" poem:


The "Key to the City", given to men, shows they're admired and respected,
And indicates they might unlock some doors, which otherwise would be rejected.

But how do they get from one door to the next? With no path, that might be some trick!
So here, for the first step to that winding road, we give you the city's "first brick".

So straight and so narrow? So heavy and hard? But it's yours, to build on and grow.
Every man makes his own way in this life, one brick at a time, row by row.

So let this old brick be a symbol to you of the start of a long winding road.
It's worn and it's chipped, but has many more miles, and the strength to help carry your load.

TO A SERVICE MAN

With gift of a billfold to a young man
entering the service -- 1969

Now that you are in the Navy, everything you make is gravy.
They supply your bed and board, so all your paychecks you can hoard.

You'll never need to buy your clothes, not even toothpaste, I suppose.
You' never bet at cards? That's nice. And, of course, you'll not roll dice !

Hope you'll never need sick bay, but that won't cost you, anyway.
You sailors are so fine, I hear, you'll not waste money drinking beer.

One temptation might be gals....simply think of them as "pals".
So here's a place to keep your pay, 'til you can send it home next day !

A LIFETIME OF LOVE

Counting all the pets we've had in 50 years -- let's see---
Looking back, I can remember almost twenty-three.
A Persian cat named Bootsie was with us nineteen years,
And when she went to Kitty Heaven, we shed big cat tears.

A tiny black toy Poodle was Frenchly named, "Beaucoup",
And next a big white sweetie-pie -- he was a Poodle, too.
A loving little Dacsund was born on Christmas day. . .
He had no antlers, but we named him "Rudolph", anyway!

White mice and bunnies, parakeets, a screeching Mynah bird;
A tank-full of bright-colored fish were seldom ever heard !
"Trinket" was a silly name for our sweet, stately Collie,
But what a doll was our Pom mix --- that's why we called her "Dollie".

Lhasa Apso's stole our hearts, named "Chrissie", one and two,
And now two Shih Tzu live with us: they're Jazzy and Sweet Sue.
All our Holidays were shared with all the pets above,
And taught our kids the truly special meaning of God's Love.

50th reunion, 1992

Upon receiving notice in 1992, of my High School's 50th reunion, two years away:

When I received the notice of our meet two years away,
I thought, "They really REALLY plan ahead !"
But I decided there would be a lot to do and say,
And things we wouldn't want to leave unsaid.

This gives us time to pick our brains and pull out from the past
Some things we should have done, but were too shy;
And time to reminisce about the years that went so fast,
Remembering the fun of days gone by.

It also gives us time to do a personal up-date,
For after fifty years we've changed a bit:
A few of us along the way have gained a little weight....
This gives us time to get a bit more fit !

For those of us with greying hair, we'll try a different shade
To make us look as good as we did then
With any luck at all, we hope your memories will fade
And you'll think we were gorgeous "way back when".

Two years will give us time to exercise away some fat,
Or have a face-lift, or a tummy-tuck.
(Please, no nose jobs, or we'll all be saying "Who is that?")
We'll all know each other, with some luck !

This will be a great re-union, thanks to all of you
Who are planning things for all of us,
And we know that there will be a million things to do...
"Thanks" for all the work and all the fuss!

Ode to a Tin Can

Once there was an old tin can; his useful days were past.
He'd long ago been emptied, and stripped and tossed, and trashed.
He once had held delicious food, sat on a shiny shelf,
But now that he was tossed aside, he couldn't stand himself !

He cried & cried the whole day through, he thought his heart had busted.
The more he thought, the more he cried, 'til he completely rusted !
And then a lady came along and saved him from this fate.
She cut and curled and painted him, and placed him on a plate.

Since she had beautified him so---returned his self-esteem---
He vowed he'd never cry again and spoil his golden gleam !
For years and years he sparkled, and stuck right to his plan.
No can could be as happy the way this tin can can !

[Written January 23, 1969]

I Feel Pretty

This fifteen-minute facial works like a charm, they say,
And should be done "occasionally" ... just 3 times every day.
And then to firm the muscles, and tone the tissues, too,
Here's a list of exercises everyone should do.

They only take ten minutes, and will restore her beauty,
And for a gal who wants to please her husband, it's her duty!
He likes her with a golden tan, so each day that's an hour;
Then she'll wash and set her hair, and take a long cool shower.

No lady wants dry skin, of course, so she'll smooth on these lotions.
She can't be in a hurry, she'll use soft soothing motions.
It shouldn't take much longer now, to manicure the nails ...
So many things are to be done, so many fine details!

She must apply her makeup with most exacting care;
She'll rearrange her coiffure, and smooth out every hair.
And now that she's so tan and soft and beautiful and sweet ...
He comes home, looks at her and smiles, and says, "Dear, what's to eat?"

Collector's Corner

Almost everyone I know, with just a few exceptions,
Spend a lot of time and money on their fun collections.
When I saw koalas as they visited our zoo,
I only bought one soft, stuffed one ---- was given number two.

That was when it happened: I became obsessed.
You cannot have just one or two --- you now want all the rest !
I bought some at flea markets, yard sales, and anywhere
You could find another cute soft koala bear.

There are many people who have collections, too....
My own mother had a lot of fishes that were blue.
She had cows of black-and-white. My friend had teddy-bears.
My hubby loved his antique cars, and drove them everywhere

As we traveled Europe, he drank a lot of beer.....
Couldn't bring the bottles home, but LABELS we have here.
License plates from many states and countries far and wide
Hang now in his big garage, and bring some subdued pride.

Then I bought a cookie-jar that looks just like a chicken:
Now at least a dozen roosters live in our old kitchen.
My childhood love of kitties pushed me in this direction:
I must have had a hundred in my very first collection.

Hubby has, throughout our home, a dozen old juke-boxes.
Playing Dorsey, or Glenn Miller --- how that music rocks us !
His most recent acquisition: stained glass lamps galore.
They take up a lot of space on tables and the floor.

But my biggest passion -- dolls made by Anna Lee --
Fits all big occasions observed by you and me:
Birthdays, Christmas, Easter, and each day in-between --
July Fourth, Thanksgiving Day, and even Hallowe'en .

All hand-painted faces, adorable and sweet;
Costumes bring them all to life, from hats down to their feet.
I now have 200, or somewhere thereabout.
They're living in big boxes, and are crying to get out !

Typical Snow Day

"Ooh, it's snowing", squeal the kids. "There'll be no school today!
Get the sleds out! Find our mufflers! We'll go out and play!"
"Mom, come help me find my mittens. Where's my furry hat?
Breakfast? No way! Can't you see? There's no time for that."

"Oh, it's snowing", groan the mothers, "There's no school today.
Kids will track snow in and out, and turn my hair to grey.
They will never take the time to eat what I've just cooked.
It'll take me half an hour to get their boots all hooked!"

"Oh, it's snowing!" yelps the dog. "Kids are home today,
I hope they remember to let me pull the sleigh!"
"Oh, it's snowing", say the dads. "Wish I were home today.
I could help them build a snowman....but I'd get no pay!"

"It's stopped snowing" cry them all. It's just another day.
School will open, after all. Can't stay home and play."
Kids are grumpy, moms relieved, and dad goes off to work.
On one thing they all agree: the weatherman's a jerk !

Mother's Modern Kitchen (written April 1962)

My all-electric kitchen has brought me pride and joy,
But also it has been a place of learning for my boy.
He hasn't learned to fry a chop, or bake a cherry pie,
Nor has he ever washed a dish, and splashed soap in his eye.

But he's discovered wonder in watching carrots grow,
And seeing salt and charcoal form a garden all aglow.
Experiments with chemistry, and home-made "magic" mixtures
Intrigue him even more than my electric fixtures.

His little engine, turned by steam, is on the counter, too,
But must be moved to make way for his nails, or home-made glue.
He soaked a bone in vinegar to make it rubber-like,
And in the corner is a tube he's fixing for his bike.

When trying to prepare a meal, I have no room to spare,
He has a box or pan or bottle almost everywhere.
Oh, yes, my kitchen's quite a joy, I'm really in my glory...
But not as much as my small son, for it's his laboratory !